Praktisch

It was bound to happen sooner or later: our German has reached a plateau. I haven’t taken any classes since April, and Fernando’s classes have also tapered off since Marco was born. Too tired after putting the boys to bed to pop in a CD or open up a workbook, occasionally we at least try to learn German by watching TV. But when the cheesy movie with the bucolic setting and the local news are too taxing to make much sense of, we either retreat to one of the two English language news channels (CNN and BBC) or, just turn off the TV.

Yet, despite the reduction in class time and studying, we do still hear German every day, often ask friends questions about it, and occasionally consult our dictionary. In fact, even in a state of exhaustion, it’s impossible to avoid learning a little German. These days, my learning comes primarily from drawing hypotheses about the language through Germans’ slightly “off” use of English. While Fernando will tell you about their enthusiastic use of the word “opportunity” to mean anything from “chance” and “prospect” to “vote”, the word that has struck me as particularly overused by Germans in English is “practical”. Translating from “praktisch”, these Germans use my language to call just about everything “practical”. While to me a portable umbrella is practical; to them, people, sweaters, events, classes, languages, jobs, cute hats, vacations, music, hotels, swing sets and even organic food can be described as practical. I might be exaggerating a bit, but “praktisch” embodies more than the English word “practical”. Whatever its definition, its connotation is extremely positive, and I dare say (remember this is just one of my unqualified hypotheses) reflects some highly esteemed German value.

At a Fall festival in a big park last weekend, we ran into a woman I knew from the International Women’s group. A Filipina married to a German, her English--however good it may have been while a student in Manila--is now filtered through German. (Side note: People with such language backgrounds, and we’ve met a few of them here, are often the worst offenders of saying funny German things in English). She took one look at our gleaming new Chariot bike carrier and commented approvingly that she and her family loved theirs because it was just so “practical”. Expensive, well-made, fun, and occasionally useful, sure… but practical? Alas, not really.

Indeed, getting around Hannover these days with two children has been the big challenge, the daily puzzle to be solved, a mini-accomplishment at the end of each errand, outing, drop-off, or play date. A “practical” mode of transport that would work in all situations is, in fact, our Holy Grail. At one time, we had thought that the Chariot might fit the bill. And although we get closer and closer with each purchase or acquisition, on any given day we still draw on several of the transport mechanisms described below to cart everybody around. Please consult our current catalogue.

Chariot Cougar 2 bike trailer. Red and silver with a black interior, this light- weight, Canadian two-seat child carrier attaches to the back of a bike. It costs almost as much, and is about as high tech, as a small car. With a custom Chariot infant seat installed on top of one of the regular seats, babies as young as Marco can sit alongside their big brothers.
Pros: Faster than walking. Keeps kids dry and warm. Leo likes to look out the “window” as we cruise along, and Marco gets lulled to sleep bouncing away in the infant seat.
Cons: Despite all the functional engineering and easy-to-use details, its large size makes it more difficult to stow away each day, and to use it requires time consuming “pit stops”--attaching and securing it onto a bike, locking and unlocking various bike locks, removing wheels, rolling up flaps here and there. No fun when the little ones are impatient (crying). Our most expensive possession, we are also afraid it will get ripped off.
Best for: longer distances, daycare pick up, looking affluent.

Chariot Cougar 2 stroller. At a slightly adjusted angle, the above bike carrier converts into a highly satisfactory double stroller, and even has a “jogger” option with a big center wheel.
Pros: The handle bar rests at a perfect length, steering is easy, and the ride is smooth.
Cons: often a little too slow-moving for Leo’s taste. A bit wide, and sometimes difficult to park and to maneuver through doorways.
Best for: very short jogs in the forest, trips to the playground, going anywhere when Leo is sick or when both kids want to be babies.
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Romer Jockey child bicycle seat. One of our best purchases during our first, “pre-Marco” year here, this German plastic bicycle seat is attached behind the bike seat. While some thrill-seeking mothers have both rear and front child seats secured onto their bikes, Romers are suitable only for older babies.
Pros: Faster to set up than the Chariot. No fear of theft. Can go anywhere and Leo always enjoys it. When shopping alone, big box of diapers fits perfectly into empty child seat.
Cons: Can only cart around one kid. Child gets almost as wet as you do when it’s raining.
Best for: Going places with only Leo.

Prémaxx baby sling. Dark red with orange accents, handy pockets, and ample padding, this well-constructed cotton sling of Dutch design looks like it should be comfortable for both parent and child. The process of inserting Marco inside the pocket and basically folding him in half tends to induce desperate cries for a few minutes, normally followed by a womb-like calm and then, sleep.
Pros: Produces womb-like calm and then, sleep.
Cons: $%!—Owee! My aching back, my irritated shoulder, my strained neck… this is supposed to be comfortable?
Best for: very, very short outings, when Marco refuses to lie flat in baby carriage, or when hands need to be free for older sib.

Baby Bjorn front carrier. Cotton, navy blue. Marco likes being strapped into this Swedish carrier with his belly against Mom or Dad’s chest.
Pros: Easier than sling. Adjustable for taller and fatter babies. Slightly less painful on parent’s back than sling.
Cons: Still, not all that comfortable for long periods. Can cause jealousy in older sibling. Difficult to stuff a warmly dressed baby through the smallish leg and arm holes.
Best for: Short distances, and for keeping hands free to cook dinner or to get the Chariot bike trailer set up.

Hartan baby carriage. This enormous German baby carriage--with genuine air tires, adjustable handle bar, ample storage space, and slightly tacky yellow and black gingham and striped fabric covering--is the standard way to transport a baby on this side of the pond. As German pediatricians advise leaving babies flat on their backs for the first year of life, these carriages are sold with a portable bed that allows baby to lie there passively, blinking up at the sky or, in Marco’s case, wailing at his inability to see anything beyond the dingy striped fabric of the so-called “carry bag”. I found this 4-year-old “Kinderwagen” on the internet and bought it off a Kazakhstanian family living nearby. I even haggled a bit and got the father to go down 20 euro on his listed price. Obviously ready to part with it, he also threw in a bicycle pump for the tires.
Pros: Very smooth ride and great suspension, even over cobblestones and bad sidewalks. Makes us feel a little less like foreigners, since the carriage is soooo German.
Cons: Can cause jealousy in older sibling and boredom in younger sibling. Takes up a lot of room on the subway and bus.
Best for: Medium distances (up to 20 minutes walking), errands with just Marco, and the Zoo with both kids.

Lascal Kiddy Board. This small (Swedish!) plastic board with two wheels attaches to the back of the baby carriage, and is just big enough for a toddler to stand on and thus be pushed along with the baby carriage. Probably the most expensive piece of plastic we ever bought, the first model took hours to install, and then promptly broke. The second most expensive piece of plastic we bought—a replacement for the broken one—is holding up better.
Pros. Leo can stand up rather than walk along or be carried while Marco is in the carriage.
Cons: Leo’s erratic interest in Kiddy Board. Some days it’s the coolest thing he’s ever seen, other days, the mere sight of it makes him cry.
Best for: short to medium distances, like walking to the subway or going to the playground, and for whenever Leo is in the mood to be a “big boy”.

Combi “City Savvy” Stroller. Purchased in the U.S. at Babies R Us, this bare-bones Japanese model is essentially an umbrella stroller with a little more padding
Pros: Small, doesn’t take up much room
Cons: No storage space and difficult to steer.
Best for: short distances, like to the store or park when Leo insists on assuming Marco’s role as baby.

And, currently out of circulation… Other transportation devices that fill up our storage space and threaten to take over our weatherized terrace are… Babytime single jogger stroller, Hotsling sling, Chicco umbrella stroller, Kelty kid carrier backpack, Graco infant car seat, and Evenflo toddler car seat.

You must be thinking—why not add a (Korean?) car to the mix? Well, the answer is a long one, easily the subject of another entry. It’s a decent idea, though not as practical, or even as praktisch, as it might seem.