IWAH and the New Year
Fernando, Leo and I returned last week after our trip to the U.S. and Chile for the holidays. We were only gone for a couple of weeks so it should be no surprise that not much in Hannover seemed different, as we groggily observed from our taxi cab windows on our way home. The Christmas ornaments, angels and lights in store display windows had all been replaced by more January-appropriate themes, like products to fight colds (water compresses, humidifiers, herbal cough syrups) and photographs of unhappy blonds blowing their puffy red noses. There were piles of bare evergreen trees amassed on street corners every kilometer or so. Leave it to the Germans to have a standardized system for their yearly Christmas tree disposal. But we had expected more changes though, since it was a new year and all.
Even at home, Starla was purring insistently like she was doing when we left and nothing had really happened in our absence, save for the appearance of a pile of mail that had been diligently brought up every few days by our cat-sitting upstairs neighbor Lea. There was, however, something new about the monthly newsletter from the International Women’s Association of Hannover. First, IWAH (www.iwah.de) is a social organization designed for women who live abroad, many of whom are here for work, either theirs’ or their spouses’. I guess these groups can be found in pretty much every large city, anywhere. In addition to orienting newcomers, IWAH also facilitates social and networking opportunities, interest groups, and volunteer events of different types. In reality, more than half of IWAH’s 250 members are Germans who just like to practice their English, and still many others are international women who landed here through marriage to Hannoverians.
I tend to open up these IWAH newsletters promptly, hoping one of them will contain valuable information about how to make lots of friends, find part-time work without a work permit, or the secret to perfection. Usually, though, they contain badly written book reviews (e.g. “I didn’t like this book by Tracy Chevalier nearly as much as her other ones”); advice columns about health and fitness by a woman who claims not to enjoy walking; and recipes often featuring British cuisine. But this issue instantly struck me as different due to the way the Chairwoman’s usual front page letter started. “Dear Members,” it read. Before, it had been “Dear Ladies”, an address that made me feel frivolous and ditzy, like someone whiling away the hours reading newsletters while her husband is out on his fantastic international assignment. So “Dear Members” felt to me like a nice change, and as I read on I learned that there was both a new IWAH Chairwoman and a new editor of the newsletter.
I realized I hadn’t given too much thought to IWAH at all really, but my experience with it, now that I am thinking about it, has been mainly positive. In a spooky parallel with my life in general here, during IWAH sponsored events there have been hits, misses, yawns, and truly awkward moments. Here are some highlights, as well as a glimpse into what goes on at one of these international women’s organizations-- in case you ever wondered J.
Newcomers’ Coffee: These monthly get-togethers are held at the palatial apartment of Sabine Fleming, a sincere, brace-faced early 60-something native of Germany. Back in October, I had big hopes for this coffee, certain that there would be a few BFF’s just waiting to make my acquaintance as they sipped coffee and choked down virtually inedible candied lemon cheesecake in Frau Fleming’s parlor. But my two hours there were mainly spent chasing Leo, who was checking out each and every room of the place, wearing out the oriental rugs as he scuffed along clumsily, pausing only to open the doors of old black and ivory cupboards or to yank at a doll from Sabine’s extensive antique toy collection. That morning there were four other newcomers: three of them about my age and all from India, and one 50-something, a veteran expat’s wife from France. Pleasant conversation, when I was lucky to catch any of it, but no best friends to be found.
New and Old Members’ Chat: These regular meetings are designed to hook up newcomers with active, more experienced IWAH members. At the meeting to which the gracious Renate Schulze invited me, I was the only newcomer, with four “old” members already sitting and chatting when I lumbered in with Leo and diaper backpack. While Frau Schulze’s wild berry tart was so delicious I resented having to share it with my firstborn, my dessert-induced bliss was quickly interrupted by what turned out to be my first really negative personal encounter in Germany. A bony faced Portuguese woman, whose name was therefore probably Ana, asked, upon hearing me speak to Leo, why I chose to speak with him in a language (Spanish) that was not my mother tongue. After responding thoughtfully to her, she shook her head, explaining how she had raised her 4 now grown children bilingually in Germany by speaking Portuguese to them, while her husband spoke German. And as I acknowledged to her the validity of her “One Parent, One Language” method for raising bilingual children and (tried to) explain why we were using a different one, she simply sneered, turned way from me in search of her friends’ approval, repeating in their direction, “That’s why it’s called the mother tongue! Lengua materna! Mutter Sprache!” If any of you have had an important aspect of your parenting… heck, of your life… criticized by a perfect stranger, then you can relate to the outrage that I felt at that moment (and admittedly, for a few hours after). Or maybe you can’t—maybe you would have been strong enough to dismiss it, since the judgment did, after all, come from a stranger. My only satisfaction that morning (after the tart) came when I said goodbye to my pleasant German hostess and her friends later, remarking that it had been “wonderful to meet most of you.”
Bi-monthly Wine and Cheese Social: Held in the evenings, I have managed to miss both of these so far. The first because I felt “too tired” after moving into our new apartment, and the second because I “got lost” trying to find the church where these things are held, and my pointy shoes prevented me from prowling around for too long in the dark. The truth is that these large, purely social events kind of intimidate me.
Bi-monthly Lecture: Held in the mornings, with topics such as “The Science of Perfume”, “All about My Country: Trinidad and Tobago” and “Jews in Germany Today”, these have been impossible for me to go to, thanks to you-know-who (rhymes with mío).
IWAH Mom & Toddlers’ Group: This weekly playgroup in a church basement for kids from 1 to 3 makes the 40 € annual IWAH dues worth it. Every time I go, Leo has fun playing with toys and the other kids, and I always leave with more knowledge and practical information about Hannover and Germany. There are even a couple Americans in the group!
It’s January and I’ve been making resolutions in my head for a couple of weeks now (and at this point in the month, already breaking some of the earlier ones). I resolve to make more effort with IWAH this year. Maybe I’ll start my own interest group… how many people can dog walking, quilting, or Finnish Conversation really attract? At least I should try to make it to one of those Wine and Cheese things.
Happy new year to everyone, and good luck with your new attitude about whatever it is this year!
Even at home, Starla was purring insistently like she was doing when we left and nothing had really happened in our absence, save for the appearance of a pile of mail that had been diligently brought up every few days by our cat-sitting upstairs neighbor Lea. There was, however, something new about the monthly newsletter from the International Women’s Association of Hannover. First, IWAH (www.iwah.de) is a social organization designed for women who live abroad, many of whom are here for work, either theirs’ or their spouses’. I guess these groups can be found in pretty much every large city, anywhere. In addition to orienting newcomers, IWAH also facilitates social and networking opportunities, interest groups, and volunteer events of different types. In reality, more than half of IWAH’s 250 members are Germans who just like to practice their English, and still many others are international women who landed here through marriage to Hannoverians.
I tend to open up these IWAH newsletters promptly, hoping one of them will contain valuable information about how to make lots of friends, find part-time work without a work permit, or the secret to perfection. Usually, though, they contain badly written book reviews (e.g. “I didn’t like this book by Tracy Chevalier nearly as much as her other ones”); advice columns about health and fitness by a woman who claims not to enjoy walking; and recipes often featuring British cuisine. But this issue instantly struck me as different due to the way the Chairwoman’s usual front page letter started. “Dear Members,” it read. Before, it had been “Dear Ladies”, an address that made me feel frivolous and ditzy, like someone whiling away the hours reading newsletters while her husband is out on his fantastic international assignment. So “Dear Members” felt to me like a nice change, and as I read on I learned that there was both a new IWAH Chairwoman and a new editor of the newsletter.
I realized I hadn’t given too much thought to IWAH at all really, but my experience with it, now that I am thinking about it, has been mainly positive. In a spooky parallel with my life in general here, during IWAH sponsored events there have been hits, misses, yawns, and truly awkward moments. Here are some highlights, as well as a glimpse into what goes on at one of these international women’s organizations-- in case you ever wondered J.
Newcomers’ Coffee: These monthly get-togethers are held at the palatial apartment of Sabine Fleming, a sincere, brace-faced early 60-something native of Germany. Back in October, I had big hopes for this coffee, certain that there would be a few BFF’s just waiting to make my acquaintance as they sipped coffee and choked down virtually inedible candied lemon cheesecake in Frau Fleming’s parlor. But my two hours there were mainly spent chasing Leo, who was checking out each and every room of the place, wearing out the oriental rugs as he scuffed along clumsily, pausing only to open the doors of old black and ivory cupboards or to yank at a doll from Sabine’s extensive antique toy collection. That morning there were four other newcomers: three of them about my age and all from India, and one 50-something, a veteran expat’s wife from France. Pleasant conversation, when I was lucky to catch any of it, but no best friends to be found.
New and Old Members’ Chat: These regular meetings are designed to hook up newcomers with active, more experienced IWAH members. At the meeting to which the gracious Renate Schulze invited me, I was the only newcomer, with four “old” members already sitting and chatting when I lumbered in with Leo and diaper backpack. While Frau Schulze’s wild berry tart was so delicious I resented having to share it with my firstborn, my dessert-induced bliss was quickly interrupted by what turned out to be my first really negative personal encounter in Germany. A bony faced Portuguese woman, whose name was therefore probably Ana, asked, upon hearing me speak to Leo, why I chose to speak with him in a language (Spanish) that was not my mother tongue. After responding thoughtfully to her, she shook her head, explaining how she had raised her 4 now grown children bilingually in Germany by speaking Portuguese to them, while her husband spoke German. And as I acknowledged to her the validity of her “One Parent, One Language” method for raising bilingual children and (tried to) explain why we were using a different one, she simply sneered, turned way from me in search of her friends’ approval, repeating in their direction, “That’s why it’s called the mother tongue! Lengua materna! Mutter Sprache!” If any of you have had an important aspect of your parenting… heck, of your life… criticized by a perfect stranger, then you can relate to the outrage that I felt at that moment (and admittedly, for a few hours after). Or maybe you can’t—maybe you would have been strong enough to dismiss it, since the judgment did, after all, come from a stranger. My only satisfaction that morning (after the tart) came when I said goodbye to my pleasant German hostess and her friends later, remarking that it had been “wonderful to meet most of you.”
Bi-monthly Wine and Cheese Social: Held in the evenings, I have managed to miss both of these so far. The first because I felt “too tired” after moving into our new apartment, and the second because I “got lost” trying to find the church where these things are held, and my pointy shoes prevented me from prowling around for too long in the dark. The truth is that these large, purely social events kind of intimidate me.
Bi-monthly Lecture: Held in the mornings, with topics such as “The Science of Perfume”, “All about My Country: Trinidad and Tobago” and “Jews in Germany Today”, these have been impossible for me to go to, thanks to you-know-who (rhymes with mío).
IWAH Mom & Toddlers’ Group: This weekly playgroup in a church basement for kids from 1 to 3 makes the 40 € annual IWAH dues worth it. Every time I go, Leo has fun playing with toys and the other kids, and I always leave with more knowledge and practical information about Hannover and Germany. There are even a couple Americans in the group!
It’s January and I’ve been making resolutions in my head for a couple of weeks now (and at this point in the month, already breaking some of the earlier ones). I resolve to make more effort with IWAH this year. Maybe I’ll start my own interest group… how many people can dog walking, quilting, or Finnish Conversation really attract? At least I should try to make it to one of those Wine and Cheese things.
Happy new year to everyone, and good luck with your new attitude about whatever it is this year!
posted by J&F at 11:49 AM
1 Comments:
"Wonderful to meet most of you." <-- LOL!!!
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